Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I have been extremely selfish

Our case has gone painfully slow. It is no secret that it has been weighing very heavily on our hearts. Living life in limbo not sure when to schedule appts or play dates or whether to RSVP for events is hard enough, but knowing there are three children on the other side of the world who are just as eager to start their new lives and have a family (because they say so in their heart-wrenching letters to us) makes it torture. We are fortunate to get many updates on our kids but hearing of night terrors, ear infections, bronchitis, etc. without a mom to take care of them is almost unbearable. The staff is wonderful but it isn't a family. The nannies take good care of them but they aren't "mom". Knowing that every day airlines are charging more and more for the same flights because we are nearing peak travel time makes us cringe with every day of no news. Our flights will already cost more than $1000 more than they would have 2-3 weeks ago. That money feels so wasted. money that could have been spent on so many other things. Knowing we expected them home by Christmas, that they still have unreceived Santa gifts, and now they won't even be home for Easter makes it sooo tough. They asked us if they could play soccer on a TEAM (the homeschool ms/hs team our kids play for) in a letter. Of course I said yes because we never expected that they would not be home by now. Soccer began yesterday without them....without even an idea when they may be home. All of the winter clothes I have for them can now be packed away because they won't be home for cold weather. The clothes will be passed down and still worn, but it is the symbolism of it that stings. My sister is due to have my 4th nephew in May. Never did we ever think the kids wouldn't be home by then or worse that we may be in Ethiopia when she delivers.

Now that I have whined and whined I have to say why I have been so selfish. One of the reasons our case has been so delayed is because officials have been working hard investigating agencies and orphanages instead of moving current cases through. This is what I have prayed years for. yes, orphanages get relicensed every year but this is different. they seem to be doing something about the bad agencies this time. There is so much corruption which is widespread among Ethiopian adoptions. I cannot even recommend an Ethiopian adoption right now unless the adoptive parents first conduct a third party investigation of the situation before proceeding.....which most agencies will not allow. Children are being trafficked and well meaning parents are fueling the fire by continuing to flock to these unethical agencies. It won't stop until they are shut down. And they need to be. Soon. Not every agency is unethical, but unfortunately there are few that aren't. Any time money is involved, a good intending ministry can allow sin to creep in.....in any country and any ministry. So when I prayed for reform in Ethiopian adoptions and more thorough investigations, the corrupt being caught and shut down, and all those ugly things, I need to praise God for answered prayers even if it means our case takes longer. We are one family, one case. There are hundreds or more families out there having to look at their children and, if speaking honestly, tell them they were never legally adoptable or that they never needed to leave their birth family or country and should have been raised by birth relatives. Or the worst of all, that their families were tricked into placing them in adoption or they were paid for their children.. These children deserve justice. If that means my case takes a few weeks longer, I am more than willing to wait!


Jean said...

Waiting is so so hard, especially once you know who the children are and that they are waiting for you.

Take refuge in our Lord- He has it all planned out!

All Praise and Glory go to HIM!

Hang in there!

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